Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
