I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Two words: blizzard sex
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
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