I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
