I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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