But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
