So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
