In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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