i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
