Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
