Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
