When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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