I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
