i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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