I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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