The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
