We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
