I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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