Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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