OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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