I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
