My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
