I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
