He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
