even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
