break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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