I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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