i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
