I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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