Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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