do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
