they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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