Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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