y did u give ur computer a hand job?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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