Tell her she can't have a vagina
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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