Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize