I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
