So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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