I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The ass gains better be worth it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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