I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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