I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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