he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
