If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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