It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
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