What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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