is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
