Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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