They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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