i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
