So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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