He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize