My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
