i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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