I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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