I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize