ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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