you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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