he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
