your thong is hanging out like whoa
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize