oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
