Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Randomize
