My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
