trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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