I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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