Everything about him screamed your future.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize