then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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