Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
