I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
