I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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