My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
