I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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