This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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