The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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