I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
