do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
