ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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