he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Randomize
