I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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