Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
