paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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