if you like me you must not know who I am
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
