Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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